People in love make me want to vomit
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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