Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I believe in your delicious
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
