So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
