This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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