put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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