i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
