I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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