evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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