You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
