it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
