two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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