Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
