Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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