No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
