i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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