there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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