how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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