I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
only you would photoshop your dick
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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