checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize