If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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