How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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