what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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