roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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