You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Im part way to drunk.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
