that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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