if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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