i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
