Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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