I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
