I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
