Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
