pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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