My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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