He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
