Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
