Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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