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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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