I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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