I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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