i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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