Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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