pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
