so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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