I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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