Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
