Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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