hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
