look no pants
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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