i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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