It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
