My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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