How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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