All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm really busy with my period
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