you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
