He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
