Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is the high leading the old right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
