his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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