can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize