how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
