I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
