Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
