What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
