ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
