This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
