READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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